Doing Nothing

Balance. “An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.” So says, Oxford American Dictionary along with 8 other definitions. All the others say pretty much the same as the first.

I work everyday to maintain balance. What’s too much and what’s too little. But particularly I try to pay attention to my body and what it tells me. It’s very interesting the secrets one try’s to keep from one’s self. Notice I mention try. You never really are fooled you’re just in denial.

What I find most intriguing is my ability to sometimes get less enjoyment out of what I like most, then I do when completing a task I really dislike. It’s as if the struggle is more important to me? But all I seem to think about is when I don’t have anything to do that will be really awesome. So what’s the answer? A little of each all the time?

I like to think of myself as a pretty hard worker and a pretty hard relaxer. Which I don’t believe is a word, but all the better. Work requires logic while relaxing requires pretty much the opposite. My days are pretty much the same, in that, I get up and read the news and check e-mail, usually make tea, maybe shower, and maybe eat in the mornings. But the rest is almost entirely up for grabs. Some days, I work on the floor, some days in the back office, some days at home office, some days not at all. And in between working times, I play. Usually I read technology, science or political news magazines or websites, maybe read a few chapters of a business book or two, smoke pot, eat, stretch, play with the dog, do the dishes, laundry, blah blah. Sometimes things are boring, sometimes not. Sounds pretty fun and easy going, but really it’s not sometimes.

Tonight would be a good example. Here I am with not a lot to do. Except for some bookkeeping that I keep putting off. I sit here and wonder if the balance I seek is at play. Is my lack of nothing to do a result of a cosmic interception? Or is it Me being lazy? Like I said, I put things off. So am I just putting off the books, and the calendar, and the newsletter, and the new signs I should make? Maybe. But what’s interesting is I am not really doing nothing right now.

I’ve found that when I’m not sure what to do I write it down. That comes in the form of massive brain flatulence. Just this and that all over this and that. A list of things here, a sentence over there, a page or two of that saved in a folder. It’s a little crazy, but in reality very representative of my headspace. I can find something and slam into it with gusto and appreciation, but if I don’t want to do it, man oh man, it is painful and most of the time not done until I’m damn good and ready. The privilege and curse of being the boss.

It’s that very balancing act I do everyday. You gotta do what you gotta do, but when is it too late? Is it too late? And by who’s standard do I measure late? By what barometer do I measure my correct amount of work and play? At what point will someone tell me? When will I know that that point is really the right point to listen? Who’s to say?

Who is to say? Me I guess. To each, his own. I mean I am rather happy with my life. I could always have more of this or that, even if I don’t need it, but that’s nothing a little hard work won’t solve. I could try to live up to others expectations, but why would I do that when I hold none myself? It’s interesting balance is. I’m not worried about my failure at anything because I’m not thinking about it. So I guess I shouldn’t worry about my balance because right now, while I sit here doing nothing, I just did something.

2006 has one of my favored numbers

I'm definitely a thinker. I sit around and walk around and run around always wondering about stuff. One of the reasons I don't post here much is because I don't feel as though I have finished thinking about a subject. I'm never sure if I should start writing it down because it may change. So I wait.

i wait for a more rounded and understood thought. And perhaps, just perhaps, i have found one to talk about. But, don't get your hopes up. (Because the other way of viewing my lack of entries can be defined as laziness.) So what you get could be simply words on the screen. Hmm, where was I? (I'm also prone to distraction.)

Should that be my New Years resolution? Hmph? I should think on that some more. Anyway to my thought.

It's the New Year, 2006. Six happens to be a number I enjoy. So I like this year already. But beyond it being in good consecutive position; it has a large amount of potential. Which sorta scares the shit out of me. I mean, what happens when the landlord of a new rental space approaches me again and says, "So, when you wanna talk about setting up shop?"

Truth be told. Money? What money? I have no money. Truely. Sure I have a business. But that don't mean I have money. I have one major asset and I have one major amount of debt. Add those two together and you get, not liquid. Not good when you need to expand or move quickly. (But where there's a Will...)

The future of the Internet is clear. It will become the ultimate distribution network of all time. And Karma Coffeehouse has the chance to become a major player in the world wide independent music industry. Our goals are high, but not lofty, not with out reach. (You can see the beginning in our partnerships with Indie Airplay and Next Big Hit Media.) But as with all relationships they can decline. Circumstances can become mired in everything from existential to down right physical calamity. And there has also been only one set of dotted lines signed. But, the year is young. and so am I.

In the mean time our partnerships are allowing me to create a radio talk show that will feature local human perspectives from the heart of Hollywood, land of the Bohemian.

In more immediate circles, I desperately need to upgrade Karma in some ways that are benificial to our guests. Salads and/or soups? Or more tasty treats and desserts, like chocolates or gelato, a cake or two more, some berry or custard pastries and pies? Anyway, changes abound for Karma Coffeehouse. Changes with-in changes are bound to happen and create even more altogether new opportunities. The options seem to grow with everyday. The considerations to be considered! The opinions to be gathered --deepbreath-- Phew! shake it off.

Jen, my beautiful and talented and loving girlfriend will be starting her business this year as well. Or rather she will begin formal selling to the marketplace this year. That's very exciting for her and for me. She begins the journey of an independent business owner and I get to watch.

So the year looks bright and the year looks great. I have things on the table and things that may fall off. I'm scared, but excited. I say bring it. I'm facing the uncertainty that is always present, yet yields gifts in disguise.

An E-mail Exchange

Hey Mike,
Hows it going? I just wanted to bring something to your attention that occured last friday when i was playing at the coffee house. About half way through my set, a black man whom i believe was homeless came in and sat the on the couch in front of the stage. He didnt purchase anything, but he seemed to enjoy the music. After about 3 songs, he made himself comfortable and layed down on the couch. A few moments later as i was playing, he proceeded to put his right hand down his sweat pants, and began to masturbate right in front of me with his eyes closed.

I couldnt continue the song, and i asked him to kindly remove his hand from his cock and leave. He didnt understand what the problem was, and started saying that i was out of line for asking him to stop what he was doing. clearly, the man was out of his mind. This isnt the first time ive had to deal with crazy people in the cafe. If you recall! , one time i had to physically eject a crazy patron who advanced on Amanda the bartender one night about 6 months ago. Anyway, i left the stage and refused to play another song until the "5 knuckle shuffler" left." At this point, Chelsea the new girl asked him to leave and he did.

I was so disgusted, and if i hadnt had a few friends that were coming by a little later, i would packed up and left. I know this isnt your fault, but you might want to tell your bartenders to at least enforce a rule that requires everyone that comes in to purchase something. I really enjoy playing at Karma, and im embarrassed to even send you this email, but i feel you should know about this incident. Please feel free to write back with your comments and/or ask Chelsea about her take on the incident. Thanks mike, and ill talk to you soon.

Always,
Christian

My Response

Christian,

Well, I suppose there are a few ways to look at this. You, at the very least, were making someone comfortable and presumably very happy. I suppose it might not have been the best place or even the best way, but had that been a woman? {Ya'know what they say, "Music calms the savage beast."}

Anyway in the end, I do hope your sensibilities were not too upset. I am sorry to hear that you feel as though you would have needed to walk out altogether. All family members, past or present are instructed to not allow people to "camp-out", or otherwise, if they are not purchasing. On occasion we don't catch people and on occasion, as is regular for Hollywood, we receive extraordinary people. They often can be disruptive and crass.

I do truly appreciate the energy you bring to Karma and well, the muscle you've had to use to address a less than desirable guest. I realize the muscle part is not what you signed on for and I do hope you don't feel as though this is a regular problem for you. If you do have regrets or concerns, we should talk and see what we can do that would make your time with us more enjoyable.

Thanks man, for the heads up. And, again thanks for your time and concern. I do hope you can continue your work with us.

Peace.

Duffy

The Second June

It's the second June. Feels a little like last June, but not quite, as it is the second. It's becoming easier. I still wonder what I should be doing, that I'm not. But, I suppose I will keep stumbling into those as I reach them. So far, so good.

This month is a slow month. It makes me a little edgey. But, I try not to worry. Things work themselves out given some attention and time. Really one problem at a time and life continues to go.

My current focus is Marketing. I call it "Teaching The Baby to Talk". I've spent the last 18 months "Teaching Her to Walk". So far i have developed a list of 15 "Talking Methods".

01. Website
02. Comedy Newsletter (Dan's Work.)
03. Punch Cards
04. Refillable Gift Cards
05. Valpak Coupon
06. Children's Hospital Employee Discount
07. t-Shirts
08. Karma Coffeehouse Quarterly
09. Website Purchasing (Bags & Gift Card)
10. Window Advertising
11. Gift Baskets
12. Menu Re-Design
13. Washington Mutual Lobby
14. Fish Bowl Drawing

Okay that's 14, but that's because I left of the original #7. It was a thought to become part of website called Spunka.com (Suppossedly, a website that was designed to help organize "things to do" and "happenings" in your local neighborhood.) They stopped in once. Gave me some literature. Collected business stats (location, owner, demo graphics and a few psychological evaluation questions.)

I'm guessing I didn't pass. As they haven't contacted me. (Probably didn't have enough money to make them want me as a large part. Or any part.) Or they just can't get their shit together. As I've been to the site. It seems a little shallow for what it's supposed to be. (They need better Marketing. Relatively pleasant to look at though. Of course that's in my very humble opinion, as I have very little room to critique.) Anywho.

About 9 items are what I have noted on a 3x4 index card, as "Engaged" or active. I'm in the middle of doing about two of them now. Those will be engaged very shortly.

I'm feeling a little remorse for money invested that has no immediate return. I guess that's the word. It's not so much, second guessing, as much as it is, "I could really use that money now." But, again, that is just something that will work itself out. The way I see it is, i'm investing in my future. I'm buying the future as it were, or is. A future that will hopefully, be a public understanding of wha, where and why Karma Coffeehouse. It's a difficult path to traverse.

What do I spend time and money doing now that will hopefully payoff in the future? Good question. I'll take that advice at theculture@karmacoffeehouse.com thank you very much.

Anyway. It's little tiring and trying at times, but so far so good. I'm still paying the bills andI did get my first coupon back today!

Simple Life Truth Number 1

We're all faking it.

It seems to me and to many others, that there is no reasonable explination to the simple understanding of us, The Human Species. How could we be doing it with any foreknowledge? Reincarnation may answer that, but so far that has not been proven with fact. Although it seems like a reasonable explination if you consider we have Spirits (But that's a whole other subject and frame of thought).

So putting aside reincarnation. It seems to me, that as we go along in life, we are simply imitating our fore mothers & fathers and all the other thousands of impressions we have and will encounter to the end of days. We are simply absorbing and expelling the images and sounds of the people around us and in turn offering a sense of self.

Therefore, have to everybody. No need to be scared. Nobody else knows either.








WARNING: The above may sound simpler than it may actually be for you to do or think about, given your current situation. The above is simply stated in order to demonstrate a way to think about the existence of the Human Species. It is the authors intention to bring to your attention a little mention that may or may not ryhme, but will hopefully lead you to the same conclusion. However, please do not feel pressure to come to the same conclusion. The author(s) suggests just mulling over the thought labelled, "Simple Life Truth Number 1" (hereto known as, SL1) after reading this addendum. By reading this you are forfeiting all rights to bring legal action against the party that penned the aforementioned ideas, phrases, sentences, words, punctuation and grammatical errors contained in SL1.

Please forward all questions, concerns, comments and suggested ways to shove it up the author's ass to: The Culture 1544 North Cahuenga Boulevard, Hollywood CA 90028 or e-mail to theculture@karmacoffeehouse.com or visit url: karmacoffeehouse.com. It is also stated that the reader should not consider the url visit request to be a demand, enfringement or coercive command by the author. Nor should the latter sentence of the last two embody the same. Nor this one. Etcetera. Ad nauseam.

Not so April Fools

"Uhm, excuse me. Yeah, uh, there seems to be a shirt on fire outside."

"What?" as I think, 'Here we go again. Hollywood at it's finest.'

"Yeah, uhm, there's a shirt on fire outside on the side walk."

A quick glance and a lean into the window, I find that sure enough, a shirt is actually on fire outside the shop. Sitting there is a man at the table smoking a cigarette.

"Yeah, so I asked that guy if he knew what happened. He said no and continued with another drag. I'm, uh, pretty sure he did it since I watched him flick butts into the gutter." the guest concluded.

"Thanks my friend."

"Uhm, Amanda? Do you think you could take the watering can to that please?"

"Sure." she says with a little bit of excitement.

"Yeah, so I'm pretty sure he did it. He's been out there for a while smoking his cigarettes. I've been watching him." the guest leans into me again.

I just shake my head and shrug my shoulders. It's really par for the course. Last week I had a "visitor" that was turning over tables outside, open the door and turned over our garbage pail.

"HEY!! Sir you are going to have to leave now!" Laurino shouts.

I was in the back counting the shift change. I dropped what I was doing considering I've known Mike for a while and I don't think I've ever heard him raise his voice like that. Standing at the door is a regualry dressed man with a shirt tied around his waist.

He says, "Yeah, well you going to have to fucking take me out!"

Of course, I'm thinking what damn choice do I have? I have a shop full of people and he's being a little disturbing. So I walk towards him. "Your going have to fucking take me out here!" He continues, "I'm so fucking sick and tired of people judging me! Fuck them." I walk closer. He backs up.

He backs out the door continuing to berate me and everybody with his concerns about The Man and The Man's People. Kicking our ashtrays, that are now on the ground, and turning over one more table for good measure, I follow him around the corner.

"Fuck you man. I'm so fuckin......" he trails off as he continues down the street.

I turn back after watching him walk about a half a block. I Pick up the tables and chairs, grab a broom and start cleaning up. I then went back to count the shift change.

Inviting Hostility?

Good begets good. Bad begets bad. At least that's how I feel and have personally experienced. Is this true for you? It may be hard to notice, especially if you have a predilection for the dark cloud and regular self pity.

My brief experience with Karma and my long standing experience with the general public has found me to be in regular awe of the "woh is me syndrome" that people wear on their shoulders as an overcoat of despair. What is that? Why does it exist?

Well, my personal therapy, and those other professionals that I have had the pleasure of acquaintance with, have told me it's just something a person gets used to that keeps people doing what they do. We are all familiar with our regular morning routines. Usually a groggy walk to the kitchen to get some coffee, breakfast, a shower and drive to work. You may do all or none of these, but I'm willing to bet there is a routine.

I've found that we all have routines with our emotions too. We gravitate towards situations that are familiar no matter how much we may like or dislike them. Then, in particular with dissatifing situations, we ask ourselves, "Why do I find myself here, with him or her, or at this job, with these people, doing these things? Woh is me, boo hoo. Life sucks." Here's the answer to that question. IT'S YOUR FAULT. Much like the battered housewife who believes the regular beatings are "because he loves me so much" we all run head long into a cycle. And it all started with our childhood or some traumatic emotional situation that now defines our perception.

My personal losses came at an early age with my Mother's death, followed by transplatation to the other side of the country to live with my Aunt and Uncle, followed by their divorce, followed by his death all before I was 14, all in only six years. Is it any wonder I had issues with the future and what it might bring me? My fear of the unknown and the consequences it might bring held me from truly being what I am or truly doing what I wanted. It made me go for the safe bet. Money. Long term relationships that went no where. Jobs I hated. Crowds I dispised. That's a little dramatic sounding, but I did find myself in regular situations I did not like and couldn't shake that feeling that although all seemed fine it may not be soon.

Well, fact of the matter is life may not be fine soon. But why concern yourself with the untold future. When exactly did you become so good at predicting? Oh, right. Your going to site those examples of relationships and jobs you were in and new from the very beginning that they were going to suck. Well good job you predicted your future. And you also went on another really good trip around the same old block again, you just took a different partner. Happy yet?

Is it time to evaluate your life your situations your understanding? Maybe. Maybe not. Only you can decide that. Only you can control how you feel or what your going to do. No matter how crazy life gets. And it really is crazy out there. The only thing you can control is you and yours. Nothing else belongs to you. Everything else belongs to others. So are you ready to take responsibility for you or do you want to pawn your life off to others? I suspect the latter do not really have a grasp of your personal needs. It may be time you decide to be happy and actively search for happier out comes. It may be time to resist the same old story. It maybe time to look through the rose colored glasses instead of the black ones. I may be getting a little carried away with metaphor, but the reality is, if you look for good you will find it just as abundant as the negative.

So when was it that I find myself to be so content with my personal life and current pursuits? Hmm, I guess a few months ago. Maybe a year or two; When I decided that the future is truly untold and not only that, if I don't start doing what I always said I was going to do, when I was a child that, well, I was wasting mine and everybody else's time. I mean what was I doing working for someone else on someone else's project and not feeling rewarded or certainly not feeling respected? Well, I was feeling as if I better do what everybody else is doing because that seems safe and a sure bet. Ahhh, so nice. Sitting around commiserating with each other. But hey, misery loves company. Let's go!

So it was that about seven years went by and I had had enough of the "fun" of group self pity and decided I should really get into the game. And now here is where I stand. Not cashing a regular check and certainly not a big one when I do, I have a business, excellent members who help me run my business, about 200 plus regular believers of my business, a really supportive and interested and understanding partner in life, Jen and a really cool dog. I'm pretty much piss drunk happy. And I have a future that is so bright, I gotta wear the proverbal glasses.

Nope. I may not be able to drive around in a $600.00 a month car, buy a new cellphone every year or a new computer. But do I really need to do that? I also don't get to call home and say, "Hey I got that raise." Or gush about my promotion or expense account to my buddies. But do they really think any less of me? Do I really need a plasma tv or a hilfiger jeans? (Both of which I can get a Ross Dress for Less. Although maybe not the tv, but that's not my point.) My point is I'm happy and I've found somebody to support me toward my happy goals of self fulfillment. Isn't that what everybody should be doing?

I know as I write this that it seems easier said then done. That's because it is. Self evaluation is very hard at any time in life I suspect. It's hard to really admit what makes you really happy. It's hard to let everybody in on the secret. It's hard to put it out there and risk the rejection and disapproval. But then again, whose life is it? Is it theirs or yours? Do you really need permission to do what makes you happy? I have to wonder that if you do, you might be inviting hostility. You might be asking for sadness and negativity. Is that what you want?

I'll tell you what, I don't know. I just run a place called Karma.